Been a while, right? To be fair, it's been a crazy few months. There were lulls here and there, but it is what it is. Things are going pretty great, so it's all good. On to recent news...
From my blogger name, I'm sure you can figure out I'm at least from TX, if not a current resident. Well, I am a current resident, and right now, my uterus is feeling mighty abused. Not from anything from or interesting like a pregnancy or naughty nights, but from the constant legislation being handed down by the assholes on high, aka the Texas legislature.
Fuck those guys. First they pass a bill that will effectively shut down all but ONE clinic in the great state of TX that provides abortions (and for y'all not up on your US geography, TX is freakin' huge. It takes roughly 13 hours to get from one side to the other, driving straight through. Who has the time or money to make that kind of trip??) This is after the Repubs were effectively shut the fuck down by the Democrats, who kicked ass, and the protestors, who also kicked ass. Rick Perry is such a douche.
Now, after that bullshit prank, which requires stand-alone clinics that provide safe and very limited surgical procedures to meet the same standards as full-equipped, hospital-operated surgical suites, they are trying to completely ban abortions altogether. Sure, if you know you're pregnant within 6 weeks, you might have the opportunity to get one, but if you're like the vast majority of women (if you're not a woman, pretend,) then you won't have the option to terminate your pregnancy, and god forbid you have a fetus with a birth defect or a life-threatening condition that could result in your death if you don't terminate the pregnancy, cuz, guess what, it'll be illegal! :D Oh yeah, and it limits the prescription of safe and effective medication that stops a pregnancy from developing. What's next, a policeman posted at every vagina in TX? Funny to imagine, perhaps, but still.
I fear what I see happening. Roe v Wade has been around since before I was born, but I've heard the stories, backalley doctors performing abortions in filthy conditions, women using coat hangers or throwing themselves down stairs to try to get rid of a pregnancy. How is outlawing them helping anyone? It's not... it just makes people feel better in their own self-righteousness. What's next? Outlawing tattoos? How about premarital sex? Jackasses in Virginia are trying to outlaw oral/anal sex between consenting adults. This is what our money is going towards. Awesome.
Fuckin' hell. What is the deal? Abortions are a legally-protected right, whether fundamentalists like ir or not, just like it's legal for black people to vote, whether our racists like it or not. What is with these asshole Repubs trying to garner so much sympathy with the fundamentalists and lifers? And when exactly will they start writing up some legislation to help feed, clothe, medicate, and educate these pregnancies they are so quick to force on women? Ok, before you start bitching, I realize no one is making women get pregnant. But you know what? This is not a Christian-run country. It's my right to spend exactly as much on my back as I wish. And since I'm married, what the hell is your problem with it? I'm on birth control, but nothing is 100%. Having a kid right now would be disasterous for my career aspirations and hopes for my future. Does that mean I just shouldn't have sex? Let me tell you.. that's idiotic, backwards, and frightening in its implications.
Damn it, leave my uterus alone!! Dudes, if you want to start making decisions about whether or not abortions are cool, grow a uterus of your own and get back to me.
TXT
Friday, July 19, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
On Matters of Friends
I have a friend whom I've known a long time. We've been friends for almost 13 years, and have gone through some rough spots, but I'm afraid we've hit a wall. She has a very spotty record with men. In my opinion, and from what I've seen, she's a terrible judge of character. She seems attracted to men who treat her like a doormat. I hate seeing her get her heart broken, but she never seems to learn. Her last relationship ended on Christmas day, and she had a new boyfriend by Valentine's day. After being with him for less than two months, they got engaged and decided to start looking to buy a house and plan a wedding for October.
Now, call me crazy, but that's ridiculous. She's only 27, she's young and pretty and relatively intelligent (I'm not sure I would go so far as to call her smart... harsh but true.) She's living at home, and has only lived away from home once in her life, when she was with an ex, who was a drug dealer in leiu of finding a real job and who kicked her out and never paid her back for the time and money she put into his house. She has an entry-level job, no college and seemingly no intent to attend, and for some reason thinks this is a great idea.
I tried to grin and bear it, but I couldn't. I don't see a friend's place as one of constant, unwavering, unquestioning support. That's what a mattress is for. I want my friends to call me out when I'm doing something stupid. Tell me that getting engaged after two months is a terrible idea. Let me know when I have a problem that needs to be addressed. Friends are not supposed to sit idly by and watch you trash your life on a stupid, reckless decision.
I'm not saying he's not the one for her. I'm not even saying she shouldn't marry him. What I can't figure out is why she can't wait. I got married fast, and while I don't in the least regret it, we took it in stages. We went on dates. We moved in together. We got to know each other's families. We both had much better dating records than she does. We got married at six months, which some people would call crazy, but we had a reason. We had both been engaged before, and had been in long, terrible relationships. I never wanted to be 'engaged' again. When I found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I wanted to get married. Neither of us had the money to spend on a wedding, nor did our families. We didn't want to put a burden on our families. We got married cheap and on the sly, and it was wonderful. Were we ready for it? Hell no! I had a panic attack that night, and not because I was a virgin bride. The reality of what I had done and what it meant for the rest of my life hit me like a ton of bricks. I would never be able to make a decision without, in one way or another, factoring him into it. My money, my time, my resources, NOTHING would be mine ever again. It's what I signed up for, but it's a huge thing to realize.
If I had it to do over, would I change it? I don't know. I don't believe in regrets, but sometimes I wish I had had a wedding, even a small one. I wish I had a wedding dress to pass on to my future daughter(s). Maybe I wish I'd had someone to talk me down and convince me that a real wedding would take into consideration the feelings and hopes of my friends and family.
I do believe in supporting and believing in the people I love, but I balance that with the idea that honesty is a necessary part of being in a loving relationship, be it a friendship or more. If you can't trust the people you love to tell you the truth, would you rather find it out the hard way? If I had married my ex, would she have just gone along with it, happy as can be, instead of saying, 'What the hell are you doing? This guy makes you miserable!'
I miss talking to her, but I know all she'll want to talk about is the wedding planning, and I just can't be ok with it. She barely knows this guy and she wants to buy a house and get married and just rush the entire process. I asked why she doesn't just wait, and she says 'It's what we want.' She swears she's not pregnant. A mutual friend says he can't see them actually lasting that long. I don't know if I hope it doesn't or hope it does. A lot of what I've seen online is people saying, 'Support your friends!' but I just can't buy into it. What kind of friend thinks you're making a terrible decision but just smiles and nods and never speaks up?
TxT
Now, call me crazy, but that's ridiculous. She's only 27, she's young and pretty and relatively intelligent (I'm not sure I would go so far as to call her smart... harsh but true.) She's living at home, and has only lived away from home once in her life, when she was with an ex, who was a drug dealer in leiu of finding a real job and who kicked her out and never paid her back for the time and money she put into his house. She has an entry-level job, no college and seemingly no intent to attend, and for some reason thinks this is a great idea.
I tried to grin and bear it, but I couldn't. I don't see a friend's place as one of constant, unwavering, unquestioning support. That's what a mattress is for. I want my friends to call me out when I'm doing something stupid. Tell me that getting engaged after two months is a terrible idea. Let me know when I have a problem that needs to be addressed. Friends are not supposed to sit idly by and watch you trash your life on a stupid, reckless decision.
I'm not saying he's not the one for her. I'm not even saying she shouldn't marry him. What I can't figure out is why she can't wait. I got married fast, and while I don't in the least regret it, we took it in stages. We went on dates. We moved in together. We got to know each other's families. We both had much better dating records than she does. We got married at six months, which some people would call crazy, but we had a reason. We had both been engaged before, and had been in long, terrible relationships. I never wanted to be 'engaged' again. When I found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I wanted to get married. Neither of us had the money to spend on a wedding, nor did our families. We didn't want to put a burden on our families. We got married cheap and on the sly, and it was wonderful. Were we ready for it? Hell no! I had a panic attack that night, and not because I was a virgin bride. The reality of what I had done and what it meant for the rest of my life hit me like a ton of bricks. I would never be able to make a decision without, in one way or another, factoring him into it. My money, my time, my resources, NOTHING would be mine ever again. It's what I signed up for, but it's a huge thing to realize.
If I had it to do over, would I change it? I don't know. I don't believe in regrets, but sometimes I wish I had had a wedding, even a small one. I wish I had a wedding dress to pass on to my future daughter(s). Maybe I wish I'd had someone to talk me down and convince me that a real wedding would take into consideration the feelings and hopes of my friends and family.
I do believe in supporting and believing in the people I love, but I balance that with the idea that honesty is a necessary part of being in a loving relationship, be it a friendship or more. If you can't trust the people you love to tell you the truth, would you rather find it out the hard way? If I had married my ex, would she have just gone along with it, happy as can be, instead of saying, 'What the hell are you doing? This guy makes you miserable!'
I miss talking to her, but I know all she'll want to talk about is the wedding planning, and I just can't be ok with it. She barely knows this guy and she wants to buy a house and get married and just rush the entire process. I asked why she doesn't just wait, and she says 'It's what we want.' She swears she's not pregnant. A mutual friend says he can't see them actually lasting that long. I don't know if I hope it doesn't or hope it does. A lot of what I've seen online is people saying, 'Support your friends!' but I just can't buy into it. What kind of friend thinks you're making a terrible decision but just smiles and nods and never speaks up?
TxT
Monday, March 11, 2013
Money sucks (and how to avoid them!)
So, in accordance with my recent budgeting measures, my husband and I are trying to cut unnecessary bits and pieces out of our day-to-day spending. Some of them are obvious, some less so. Here's a few, as food for thought.
Restaurants- OMG. The mark-up for restaurants, versus making dinner yourself, is insane. I get it... you don't have to do the cooking or the clean up, and you get someone waiting on you, which is nice, but really... is it worth it? Consider the actual level of service you receive at most restaurants. Servers have multiple tables to wait, and it seems like a server is either overworked or undervisible (ie- they disappear for long stretches for no apparent reason.) Rarely is the food perfect, in temperature, preparation, or delivery, and little things, like extra lemons or refills, tend to be overlooked. Drinks run between $2-3. I used to LOVE eating out, maybe because I did it so rarely as a kid, but I think the charm is finally wearing off. It hurts to spend $30-50 for a decent dinner when for about twice that, you could buy groceries for an entire week. Going out once in a while is fun, sure, but it's should really be that... once in a while.
Beauty services- Alright, this is more for the ladies. Girls, think about what you spend to get your hair done every 6-10 weeks. Just for the color, it can run upward of $200. That's insane! Grab a box of dye ($10 max at the store), grab a friend, and have a hair party. Really, the things they do at the salon are not that complicated. The same goes for manicures and pedicures. Give up the 2-week acrylics and enjoy your natural nails! My hands aren't exactly beautiful pianist hands (unlike my husbands), but with practice and care, I do a pretty good job of taking care of them, and my nails look great. Instead of spending $50-100 for 45 minutes of upkeep, do it at home! It takes practice, again, but it's awesome to be able to soak your feet on your couch and watch bad television. And again, grab a friend and make a party of it! It's a great way to have fun, make yourself pretty, and save money.
Coffee and Lunch- How many of us find ourselves crunched for time and grab a latte on the way to work or a burger at lunch? Those coffees and fast food lunches add up fast, and your wallet feels the pinch. For a fraction of the cost, get up 10 minutes earlier, grind up some fresh beans, and make yourself a sandwich. With a little trial and error, you can get the hang of making some pretty awesome coffee, hot or iced, and packing your lunch is also a great way to save on calories. Most restaurants and fast food joints really serve more food and calories than any person needs in a single meal (or even a single day!) If slapping together lunch isn't your thing in the morning, try frozen meals. They're cheap, calorie controlled, and come in an amazing array of possibilities.
Movie Theaters- There's nothing so classic for date night as hitting a movie theater. Considering the standard price of movie tickets, around $10 each, along with popcorn, candy, and a soda, that trip to see a new release can easily run $40-50. That's a little crazy, right? I say skip the popcorn and instead rent a movie or catch something on Netflix or the DVR and order in a pizza. Call it $20 for an evening snuggled up on the couch with your honey (or your favorite pooch!), with no crying children, texting teens, or other obnoxious movie goers.
New vs. Used- This is a big one for me with regards to books and cds. I prefer to go to a used bookstore, like Half Price Books, and spend $3 for an older release, rather than spending $15-25 for a new release at a large chain book store. Libraries are fantastic for this, also. Free bookage = win. When looking at making purchases, I try to first consider if I can find something gently used for cheaper. Goodwill, Ebay, Amazon, and Craigslist are some favorites. I bought an awesome dress for a military ball for $4 at Goodwill last month. On Craigslist, we found my husband's car for less than $2000, and my motorcycle was only $3000, and it barely had 2k miles. Always be smart about what you buy, of course, but it's a good consideration to make. You may decide you don't even need whatever new gadget you were considering, anyway.
As Dave Ramsey says... good finance is 80% behavior and 20% knowledge. Fix the behavior and you're 80% of the way there.
TxT
Restaurants- OMG. The mark-up for restaurants, versus making dinner yourself, is insane. I get it... you don't have to do the cooking or the clean up, and you get someone waiting on you, which is nice, but really... is it worth it? Consider the actual level of service you receive at most restaurants. Servers have multiple tables to wait, and it seems like a server is either overworked or undervisible (ie- they disappear for long stretches for no apparent reason.) Rarely is the food perfect, in temperature, preparation, or delivery, and little things, like extra lemons or refills, tend to be overlooked. Drinks run between $2-3. I used to LOVE eating out, maybe because I did it so rarely as a kid, but I think the charm is finally wearing off. It hurts to spend $30-50 for a decent dinner when for about twice that, you could buy groceries for an entire week. Going out once in a while is fun, sure, but it's should really be that... once in a while.
Beauty services- Alright, this is more for the ladies. Girls, think about what you spend to get your hair done every 6-10 weeks. Just for the color, it can run upward of $200. That's insane! Grab a box of dye ($10 max at the store), grab a friend, and have a hair party. Really, the things they do at the salon are not that complicated. The same goes for manicures and pedicures. Give up the 2-week acrylics and enjoy your natural nails! My hands aren't exactly beautiful pianist hands (unlike my husbands), but with practice and care, I do a pretty good job of taking care of them, and my nails look great. Instead of spending $50-100 for 45 minutes of upkeep, do it at home! It takes practice, again, but it's awesome to be able to soak your feet on your couch and watch bad television. And again, grab a friend and make a party of it! It's a great way to have fun, make yourself pretty, and save money.
Coffee and Lunch- How many of us find ourselves crunched for time and grab a latte on the way to work or a burger at lunch? Those coffees and fast food lunches add up fast, and your wallet feels the pinch. For a fraction of the cost, get up 10 minutes earlier, grind up some fresh beans, and make yourself a sandwich. With a little trial and error, you can get the hang of making some pretty awesome coffee, hot or iced, and packing your lunch is also a great way to save on calories. Most restaurants and fast food joints really serve more food and calories than any person needs in a single meal (or even a single day!) If slapping together lunch isn't your thing in the morning, try frozen meals. They're cheap, calorie controlled, and come in an amazing array of possibilities.
Movie Theaters- There's nothing so classic for date night as hitting a movie theater. Considering the standard price of movie tickets, around $10 each, along with popcorn, candy, and a soda, that trip to see a new release can easily run $40-50. That's a little crazy, right? I say skip the popcorn and instead rent a movie or catch something on Netflix or the DVR and order in a pizza. Call it $20 for an evening snuggled up on the couch with your honey (or your favorite pooch!), with no crying children, texting teens, or other obnoxious movie goers.
New vs. Used- This is a big one for me with regards to books and cds. I prefer to go to a used bookstore, like Half Price Books, and spend $3 for an older release, rather than spending $15-25 for a new release at a large chain book store. Libraries are fantastic for this, also. Free bookage = win. When looking at making purchases, I try to first consider if I can find something gently used for cheaper. Goodwill, Ebay, Amazon, and Craigslist are some favorites. I bought an awesome dress for a military ball for $4 at Goodwill last month. On Craigslist, we found my husband's car for less than $2000, and my motorcycle was only $3000, and it barely had 2k miles. Always be smart about what you buy, of course, but it's a good consideration to make. You may decide you don't even need whatever new gadget you were considering, anyway.
As Dave Ramsey says... good finance is 80% behavior and 20% knowledge. Fix the behavior and you're 80% of the way there.
TxT
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Finance is for Nerds.
My parents gave me a book a while back. (A looong while back.) The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I looked at it, and it was interesting, but I never read it. However, I didn't get rid of it either. So here, a few years later, I decided to read it, when I realized that, with student loans and car loans and everything else, my husband and I are totaling about $30k in debt. That scares the pants off me, because I know how easy it is for something to upset the balance of day-to-day life and send you into a budgeting tail spin. So I decided to take it for a read.
I wasn't raised with the best financial sense, or any, really. About the time I should've been learning about money management, either at home or from my parents (which would've been a disaster anyway..), I was living more or less on my own, and I dropped out of high school not long after. Like a lot of late teen/early 20-somethings, my idea of being good with my finances was being able to buy bread and milk after paying my bills at the end of the month. I never had anything to spare. Once I got married and had two incomes to work with, my husband and I got better about our money and were able to put away savings, which we would occasionally clean out for a large purchase and then build back up slowly. Then we discovered the credit card.
Credit cards are the devil. I believe this entirely. It's a system that lets people spend money they don't have, so they can pay it back incrimentally for the rest of their lives. The idea of a person without credit card debt is mind boggling, much like the idea of not having a car note or a mortgage. I've always been leery of large, recurring charges, and have never paid more that $300 a month for a car loan. My first financed car was only $140 a month. Still, I convinced myself that it was ok to trade my car in for a brand-new sedan, a beautiful shiny blue thing that just screamed 'You know you want me.' We weren't upside-down on my old Focus, so we traded her in and bought this blue beauty. My car payment went up to $270 a month, and I now have a $17k car loan, and I hate it. Not the car, but the weight of the debt that came along with it.
I pay all the bills for my household, so I'm the one who really feels the weight of our debts, and I got tired of it. I remembered my finance book, and I decided to read it. I was ready to hate it, to disbelieve it, to deny it, but I admit, I'm hooked. It's not a scheme, though it is rather subversive in that it describes how to turn your financial situation around and live WITHOUT DEBT. It's hard to imagine, right?
Our tax return came in, and I've written up a budget with it included, and if my husband and I are solid on our committment to curtail our spending and stick to it, we'll have $10k paid off by July. I don't know the totals yet for the whole year, because I haven't gotten that far, but I'm pretty serious about making it happen. I want to cut up my credit cards. I want to hack and slash my student loans. And I want to destroy my car note. I want to owe nothing and be able to buy things outright. And I want to start saving for a house. Crazy dreams, right? But with it, it can happen.
I'm not trying to sell the book, exactly. More the idea behind it, that people can live without credit and without debt. It's possible. Imagine the stress that could be taken away if you were living to live with the bare minimum and pay off your credit cards, your loans, your car, and even your mortgage. It's an exciting prospect.
My husband isn't really feeling the same push I am to get out from under our debts, but he trusts me to go with it. I'm hoping he'll get fully on board once he sees how much we were putting towards them. I figure as long as he gets his occasional toy and the internet and electricity doesn't get cut off, he'll be happy. Men are simple like that.
If you're interested, here's the link.
https://www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com/
Finance isn't just for nerds anymore.
TxT
I wasn't raised with the best financial sense, or any, really. About the time I should've been learning about money management, either at home or from my parents (which would've been a disaster anyway..), I was living more or less on my own, and I dropped out of high school not long after. Like a lot of late teen/early 20-somethings, my idea of being good with my finances was being able to buy bread and milk after paying my bills at the end of the month. I never had anything to spare. Once I got married and had two incomes to work with, my husband and I got better about our money and were able to put away savings, which we would occasionally clean out for a large purchase and then build back up slowly. Then we discovered the credit card.
Credit cards are the devil. I believe this entirely. It's a system that lets people spend money they don't have, so they can pay it back incrimentally for the rest of their lives. The idea of a person without credit card debt is mind boggling, much like the idea of not having a car note or a mortgage. I've always been leery of large, recurring charges, and have never paid more that $300 a month for a car loan. My first financed car was only $140 a month. Still, I convinced myself that it was ok to trade my car in for a brand-new sedan, a beautiful shiny blue thing that just screamed 'You know you want me.' We weren't upside-down on my old Focus, so we traded her in and bought this blue beauty. My car payment went up to $270 a month, and I now have a $17k car loan, and I hate it. Not the car, but the weight of the debt that came along with it.
I pay all the bills for my household, so I'm the one who really feels the weight of our debts, and I got tired of it. I remembered my finance book, and I decided to read it. I was ready to hate it, to disbelieve it, to deny it, but I admit, I'm hooked. It's not a scheme, though it is rather subversive in that it describes how to turn your financial situation around and live WITHOUT DEBT. It's hard to imagine, right?
Our tax return came in, and I've written up a budget with it included, and if my husband and I are solid on our committment to curtail our spending and stick to it, we'll have $10k paid off by July. I don't know the totals yet for the whole year, because I haven't gotten that far, but I'm pretty serious about making it happen. I want to cut up my credit cards. I want to hack and slash my student loans. And I want to destroy my car note. I want to owe nothing and be able to buy things outright. And I want to start saving for a house. Crazy dreams, right? But with it, it can happen.
I'm not trying to sell the book, exactly. More the idea behind it, that people can live without credit and without debt. It's possible. Imagine the stress that could be taken away if you were living to live with the bare minimum and pay off your credit cards, your loans, your car, and even your mortgage. It's an exciting prospect.
My husband isn't really feeling the same push I am to get out from under our debts, but he trusts me to go with it. I'm hoping he'll get fully on board once he sees how much we were putting towards them. I figure as long as he gets his occasional toy and the internet and electricity doesn't get cut off, he'll be happy. Men are simple like that.
If you're interested, here's the link.
https://www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com/
Finance isn't just for nerds anymore.
TxT
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The Silly Case of Teenagers Having Rights
This is a good one. I promise.
I'm pro-choice. Always have been. It's nobody's damn business what any woman does, medically or otherwise, with her body. I don't want people telling me I can't have tattoos or MUST have a child. It's not their life, it's not their business, and it's not their problem.
That being said, this article caught my interest, with the headline blip reading, Pregnant Teen Wins Abortion Battle. Here, have a look-see. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting, and I'm ashamed to admit it occurred in Texas. Yes, I live in a very RED state, but I like to think we're not THIS stupid.
Now, to clarify, I'm not saying the initial judgment of preventing the family from forcing the girl to have an abortion was stupid. She's an idiot, it's a fact, but I feel it would be horribly traumatizing for her to be forced through a medical procedure, ANY medical procedure, that she was not willing to consent to.
My first problem with this whole situation was the judge's decision that it was the girl's RIGHT to have the car and the cell phone. It was claimed that "her parents had taken away her phone, pulled her out of school, forced her to get two jobs and took away her car in an effort to "make her miserable so that she would give in to the coercion and have the abortion."" You know what it sounds like to me? It really sounds like the parents were trying to OPEN HER STUPID EYES to reality. With a baby, guess what? You can't go to school. You will need two jobs without an education. You probably won't be able to afford a phone. And the car? I'd bet my ass that it was their car, not hers.
Like many noters asked... when did having a car and a cell phone become a right, especially for a snotty teenager? Taking away things that parents have purchased and allowed their children to use has been, in my understanding, a historically used method of discipline and punishment. Maybe I just got that wrong and my parents weren't aware of my 'rights' under the law? Damn, should've sued them for my car. You know, the one I had a right to, without paying for the car, the gas, the insurance, and the maintenance.
My second and much larger problem with this scenario is the judge's decision that the girl's parents will be liable for half of the medical bill once she gives birth UNLESS the girl marries the father of the child. This is really kind of sick. It's punishing the parents for something they didn't want, didn't do, and tried to prevent, and it's pushing the girl into getting married at age 16 to another 16 year old, and both of them obviously aren't very bright, considering they couldn't even follow the picture directions on a condom wrapper.
I get it, the judge was pro-life, the girl didn't want to be forced into having an abortion, whatever. Why not settle with the parents for the child being put up for adoption? Why would any supposedly educated person support the idea of a 16-year-old girl and her 16-year-old boyfriend getting married and having a child? This whole case is insane. Perhaps the parents went about it a little harsher than would be preferred for the situation, but really?
If the teenage girl thinks she's prepared and capable of bringing a baby into the world and carrying for it, let her try, but if she wants to be seen as an independent adult, don't force her parents to care for her and pay for it. She shouldn't have it both ways. Either she needs her parents and should be required to listen to them and follow their rules and punishments, or she can do this herself and they should be allowed to wash their hands of the situation. Harsh, but what is she learning by having a judge order her parents to care for her and give her everything she wants? If you don't like what someone tells you, sue them and let the judge tell them they have to listen?
Crazy world..
TxT
I'm pro-choice. Always have been. It's nobody's damn business what any woman does, medically or otherwise, with her body. I don't want people telling me I can't have tattoos or MUST have a child. It's not their life, it's not their business, and it's not their problem.
That being said, this article caught my interest, with the headline blip reading, Pregnant Teen Wins Abortion Battle. Here, have a look-see. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting, and I'm ashamed to admit it occurred in Texas. Yes, I live in a very RED state, but I like to think we're not THIS stupid.
Now, to clarify, I'm not saying the initial judgment of preventing the family from forcing the girl to have an abortion was stupid. She's an idiot, it's a fact, but I feel it would be horribly traumatizing for her to be forced through a medical procedure, ANY medical procedure, that she was not willing to consent to.
My first problem with this whole situation was the judge's decision that it was the girl's RIGHT to have the car and the cell phone. It was claimed that "her parents had taken away her phone, pulled her out of school, forced her to get two jobs and took away her car in an effort to "make her miserable so that she would give in to the coercion and have the abortion."" You know what it sounds like to me? It really sounds like the parents were trying to OPEN HER STUPID EYES to reality. With a baby, guess what? You can't go to school. You will need two jobs without an education. You probably won't be able to afford a phone. And the car? I'd bet my ass that it was their car, not hers.
Like many noters asked... when did having a car and a cell phone become a right, especially for a snotty teenager? Taking away things that parents have purchased and allowed their children to use has been, in my understanding, a historically used method of discipline and punishment. Maybe I just got that wrong and my parents weren't aware of my 'rights' under the law? Damn, should've sued them for my car. You know, the one I had a right to, without paying for the car, the gas, the insurance, and the maintenance.
My second and much larger problem with this scenario is the judge's decision that the girl's parents will be liable for half of the medical bill once she gives birth UNLESS the girl marries the father of the child. This is really kind of sick. It's punishing the parents for something they didn't want, didn't do, and tried to prevent, and it's pushing the girl into getting married at age 16 to another 16 year old, and both of them obviously aren't very bright, considering they couldn't even follow the picture directions on a condom wrapper.
I get it, the judge was pro-life, the girl didn't want to be forced into having an abortion, whatever. Why not settle with the parents for the child being put up for adoption? Why would any supposedly educated person support the idea of a 16-year-old girl and her 16-year-old boyfriend getting married and having a child? This whole case is insane. Perhaps the parents went about it a little harsher than would be preferred for the situation, but really?
If the teenage girl thinks she's prepared and capable of bringing a baby into the world and carrying for it, let her try, but if she wants to be seen as an independent adult, don't force her parents to care for her and pay for it. She shouldn't have it both ways. Either she needs her parents and should be required to listen to them and follow their rules and punishments, or she can do this herself and they should be allowed to wash their hands of the situation. Harsh, but what is she learning by having a judge order her parents to care for her and give her everything she wants? If you don't like what someone tells you, sue them and let the judge tell them they have to listen?
Crazy world..
TxT
Friday, February 8, 2013
Melissa McCarthy
A friend said she was going to go see Identity Thief later tonight. I expressed my own interest, because I had seen the commercials, and I think Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman are both hilarious. I decided to look it up and see what buzz was going on, and I found this article.
Apparently, a movie critic decided to play a game of name-calling over Ms. McCarthy's weight. I'm completely lost on how her size, shape, or whatever it is that offended him has absolutely anything to do with her acting abilities or her performance in the movie. Her performances have always had me rolling with laughter, on TV and in movies. She's a riot, though that might not be why I respect her as much as I do.
Hollywood can be a vicious, cruel place for anyone who doesn't fit the mold, and the mold was definitely broken when they made Ms. McCarthy. She is a lovely, talented, hilarious woman who is completely outside the normal bounds of what Hollywood accepts, and I admire her tenacity and courage for taking on a career and an industry that so obviously and so strongly favors the young, the thin, and the gorgeous. Legs that go for miles, a single-digit waist, and a fashion-model face are basic requirements for getting anywhere as an actor, but she did it, carving out a place for herself in the entertainment industry, this woman who looks like she could be your neighbor, your teacher, or your mom.
Does she play upon her size? Sure. Is it any different than a curvy starlet taking on a part that involves nudity or sex appeal? Not a bit, in my opinion. We all have our own strengths and talents, and she plays up every talent she was born with and then some. She brings life to characters that wouldn't have the same depth and honesty if played by anyone else. She makes taboo topics approachable, things like comfort eating and difficulty with managing weight loss while also trying to keep the rest of your life on track. She's taking 'fat' off the four-letter-word list and reflecting the image and reality of a majority of American women and making us all laugh our asses off while she does it.
Does she make a poor role model by somehow glamorizing obesity? Nope. That's complete crap. Let's face it, people: some of us are fat. Some of us aren't. How is her acceptance and success with her body type as bad as or worse, in any way, than size 0 models that young (and not-so-young) girls try to emmulate through insane dieting, overexercise, and developing eating disorders? She embraces her beauty, her talents, and yes, her fat, and she has made a rocking career out of it.
Perhaps her former director Paul Feig said it best... "For his catty and school bully name-calling of the supremely talented Melissa McCarthy, I cordially invite Mr. Rex Reed to go f--k himself."
TxT
Apparently, a movie critic decided to play a game of name-calling over Ms. McCarthy's weight. I'm completely lost on how her size, shape, or whatever it is that offended him has absolutely anything to do with her acting abilities or her performance in the movie. Her performances have always had me rolling with laughter, on TV and in movies. She's a riot, though that might not be why I respect her as much as I do.
Hollywood can be a vicious, cruel place for anyone who doesn't fit the mold, and the mold was definitely broken when they made Ms. McCarthy. She is a lovely, talented, hilarious woman who is completely outside the normal bounds of what Hollywood accepts, and I admire her tenacity and courage for taking on a career and an industry that so obviously and so strongly favors the young, the thin, and the gorgeous. Legs that go for miles, a single-digit waist, and a fashion-model face are basic requirements for getting anywhere as an actor, but she did it, carving out a place for herself in the entertainment industry, this woman who looks like she could be your neighbor, your teacher, or your mom.
Does she play upon her size? Sure. Is it any different than a curvy starlet taking on a part that involves nudity or sex appeal? Not a bit, in my opinion. We all have our own strengths and talents, and she plays up every talent she was born with and then some. She brings life to characters that wouldn't have the same depth and honesty if played by anyone else. She makes taboo topics approachable, things like comfort eating and difficulty with managing weight loss while also trying to keep the rest of your life on track. She's taking 'fat' off the four-letter-word list and reflecting the image and reality of a majority of American women and making us all laugh our asses off while she does it.
Does she make a poor role model by somehow glamorizing obesity? Nope. That's complete crap. Let's face it, people: some of us are fat. Some of us aren't. How is her acceptance and success with her body type as bad as or worse, in any way, than size 0 models that young (and not-so-young) girls try to emmulate through insane dieting, overexercise, and developing eating disorders? She embraces her beauty, her talents, and yes, her fat, and she has made a rocking career out of it.
Perhaps her former director Paul Feig said it best... "For his catty and school bully name-calling of the supremely talented Melissa McCarthy, I cordially invite Mr. Rex Reed to go f--k himself."
TxT
Monday, February 4, 2013
Ghost of a King
So a while back, I had read that somewhere in England a parking lot was being excavated in hopes of finding the remains of an English king who had died in battle and had been buried in secret. In the unlikeliest of places, they found human remains bearing similar physical traits, such as scoliosis.. I thought this was all fascinating, because really, what are we if not creations of our history?
Today, I read that the remains had been identified positively as King Richard III, the last of the Plantagenet line of royalty. They were able to track down a current living relative of the king's sister and identify him through mitochondrial DNA. Here's the articlar:
http://news.yahoo.com/experts-remains-englands-king-richard-iii-105948025.html
Honestly, I find it fascinating. I love historical fiction, but the truth is often more intriguing. Fiction is distant from reality, if only by a faint line in our minds. History, however, is amazing in its intensity and twisted stories. It's said that it really is written by the winners, and it really makes you wonder about the stories told of the short-lived rule by Richard III. They say he murdered his nephews, the Princes in the Tower, to secure his rule, and he was touted as a cruel, deformed man. In truth, he did have scoliosis, but Shakespeare likely took more than his share of artistic license.
His remains tell of his demise and the humiliation that was rumored, and now proven, to follow, and I wonder what else the ghost of a king will reveal. History is written by the winners, and the losers are condemned to loathing, fear, distaste, and a story of half-truths. I hope that a clearer picture of who he was, how he lived, and how he died will clear some of the murk of history and legend that surrounds his name.
What other wonders of history lay hidden beneath something so bland as a parking lot?
TxT
Today, I read that the remains had been identified positively as King Richard III, the last of the Plantagenet line of royalty. They were able to track down a current living relative of the king's sister and identify him through mitochondrial DNA. Here's the articlar:
http://news.yahoo.com/experts-remains-englands-king-richard-iii-105948025.html
Honestly, I find it fascinating. I love historical fiction, but the truth is often more intriguing. Fiction is distant from reality, if only by a faint line in our minds. History, however, is amazing in its intensity and twisted stories. It's said that it really is written by the winners, and it really makes you wonder about the stories told of the short-lived rule by Richard III. They say he murdered his nephews, the Princes in the Tower, to secure his rule, and he was touted as a cruel, deformed man. In truth, he did have scoliosis, but Shakespeare likely took more than his share of artistic license.
His remains tell of his demise and the humiliation that was rumored, and now proven, to follow, and I wonder what else the ghost of a king will reveal. History is written by the winners, and the losers are condemned to loathing, fear, distaste, and a story of half-truths. I hope that a clearer picture of who he was, how he lived, and how he died will clear some of the murk of history and legend that surrounds his name.
What other wonders of history lay hidden beneath something so bland as a parking lot?
TxT
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